I don't even try topump my legs because I don't want my dress to go up and show off myplastic panties and diaper any more than they are now. If I only knewthat it didn't matter, because my diaper and plastic panties, I mean thediaper and the plastic panties are in plain sight for all to see.I start looking around the park while I am being pushed on the swing. Ilook down and see Karen and Cindy just talking to each other ignoring mewhile they take turns pushing me on the swing.The park has many people in it; I am looking around hoping I don't seeanyone I know. My life would be over if someone at school seen me dressedlike this a little girl, okay a little baby girl.Seeing no one I know is making me feel better while I look around until Ihear other voices. I turn and see a little girl walking towards theswings with an older girl walking behind her."Is anyone using this other swing?" I hear a familiar voice saying,looking down seeing the little girl asking Cindy and Karen. Oh shit. That should tell you howdesperate I had become. They told me that it was possible to get thebody that I wanted, but it would cost me my soul to get it. What goodwas a little girl's body, without her soul being in it? That would beworse than what I had already. We both took that defeat quite hard. It was my last gasp effort atgiving her a real girl's body. All I had left to try was feminizingthis body and trying to live as a woman. I was hopeful at first, but Ilost my enthusiasm after awhile. It was obvious that is wasn't reallyhelping Maggie. I think she did try to make a go of it, but it's nearlyas impossible for a little girl to live in a grown woman's world, as itis for her to live in a boy's world. She didn't have the maturity orexperience to draw from like most 30 something women would, and moreimportantly she did not have the desires of an adult woman. She wasstill waiting to get to the playground and just play. Somewhere around the time that I realized that.
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